Hope you enjoyed that trial flight. Remember this process because you’re
Changing Your Time Line
When you’ve worked out your time line as described in the preceding section, ask yourself what its position is in relation to you. For instance, does the line run through your body as in the two in-time diagrams shown in Figures 13-2 and 13-3? Or is it out in front of you so that you can see the whole of your time line before you, as in the through-time diagram shown in Figure 13-4?
Figure 13-2:
A straight time line for an in-time person.
Past
Present
Future
Figure 13-3:
A V-shaped time line for an in-time person.
Past
Present
Future
Figure 13-4:
An in-front time line for a through- time person.
Past
Present
Future
The shape of your time line can influence various personality traits. If you see a through-time line, you have an American–European model of time, which means that you may display the following tendencies:
✓ Able to keep your emotions separate from events ✓ Conscious of turning up for appointments on time ✓ Display a strong awareness of past and future events
✓ Goal-orientated
✓ Good at planning activities ✓ Have difficulty living in the now ✓ Very aware of the value of time
As a person with an in-time line you may have the following abilities and tendencies:
✓ Creative
✓ Efficient at multi-tasking
✓ Engrossed in the current experience ✓ Feel your emotions very strongly ✓ Good at living in the moment ✓ Prefer to keep your options open
✓ Spontaneous
✓ Unlikely to plan far ahead
You can change the orientation of your time line in order to experience a dif- ferent mindset, without changing any of the individual memories and events of which your time line is made up. For example, if you’re an in-time person and you have to keep to a time schedule, try turning your time line so that you’re through time, with all your time line in front of you. Or, if you’re a
workaholic and want to chill with your partner in the evening, why not pre- tend that your time line is the other side of your front door, and become an in-time person the moment you step through your door.
Switching time lines can cause some physical disorientation. For example, you can feel dizzy. So choose a quiet and relaxed time for altering your time line instead of when you’re busy rushing around. If you feel uncomfortable while changing your time line, slow down and revert your time line to its original orientation.
If you’re a through-time person and your time line is laid out in front, you can change that time line by stepping onto it so that you have to turn your head or your body to face the past or the future. Or you can float above your time line so that it spreads out below you; as you float back down to position yourself, the time line’s below your feet or running through your body.
If you’re an in-time person, you can step off your time line so that it spreads out in front of you and you can see your past, present, and future as a contin- uum, just by turning your head to your left or your right but without having to turn your body. If you prefer, you can float above your time line and when you float back down, position yourself so that your time line’s in front of you.
Romilla always asks delegates on the ‘Future Perfect’ seminars to switch time- line orientation and to keep the different orientation over lunch, as long as they feel comfortable. One of the delegates, a highly in-time person, initially experienced dizziness and nausea when she put her time line out in front of her (through time) but was keen to persevere. After sitting down for a while she stabilised and went to lunch. On her return, her relief at switching her time line back to an in-time line was visible for all to see.
Apart from switching the orientation of your time line, discovering how to change the way that you space out events on it can also be useful.
John was suffering from stress. He felt as though everything was pressing in on him and that he just couldn’t cope with all his work. When John went back along his time line, using Time Line Therapy® (co-created by Tad James), he remembered that he’d failed to qualify for a scholarship when he was a young boy. His mother was very scathing and judgemental. John realised that he’d been trying to please her ever since and always tried to do too much.
On examining the arrangement of his time line, John discovered that he had his present up close to his nose and his future about 15 centimetres farther in front of that. When we cleared up all the negative emotions behind his
‘failure’ (flip to Chapter 2 for a more empowering term, ‘feedback’), John was able to move the present out to about 30 centimetres away and place his future farther along and up, about three metres away. When he stretched out his time line in his mind, he got into a panic because he felt that because he’d stretched it too far, that he’d never achieve anything in his life again. When he shortened his time line so that it wasn’t as tight as it was before, but not
so long that he felt panicky, he felt comfortable because he knew he would be able to plan and meet his objectives.
Simon had the opposite problem to John: he felt that he could never meet his deadlines. On examining his time line, Simon discovered that his future was so far out in front of him that he was unable to generate enough of a sense of urgency about his goals. Simon compressed his time line and imagined it as a conveyor belt. He placed goals at specific distances along the belt. When Simon made his ‘to do’ list for the next day, he moved the conveyor belt one notch closer. (We talk more about making ‘to do’ lists in Chapter 4.) This method had a real impact on Simon meeting his commitments.
Travelling Along Your Time Line to a Happier You
Your time line consists of a sequence of structured memories; pictures are in colour, sounds can be loud or soft, and feelings can make you feel light or weigh you down. (For more information on memory and the senses, turn to Chapter 6.) Your mind creates these memories in its own individual way: for example, if you experience the same event as other people – perhaps you wit- ness an accident – each of you remembers that event differently.
As you travel your time line, examining your memories and understanding the lessons that need to be learned can release the hold that memories have on the present, which allows you to change their structure, making them smaller, softer, or lighter as necessary. Therefore, your past need no longer cast a shadow on your present – or more importantly, on your future.
Releasing negative emotions and limiting decisions
Anger, fear, shame, grief, sadness, guilt, regret, and anxiety are just a few examples of negative emotions. These feelings have value in that they make you human – and you wouldn’t want to be free of the ability to experience these emotions – but at times they have a powerful, undesired impact. They can cause physical illness and have a devastating effect on the way you con- duct your life.
A limiting decision is one that you made in the past when, for some reason, you decided that you were unable to do something, because you were too stupid, unfit, poor, or any number of other reasons. For example, you may have said: ‘I can never be slim’ or ‘I’m bad at adding numbers.’ The limiting decision limits your potential, interfering with your success.
Although you create negative emotions and limiting decisions in your past, they influence you in your present. If you can go into the past, by travelling back along your time line, and understand consciously what your uncon- scious mind was trying to protect you from, you can release the effect of the damaging emotions and decisions more easily.
Dealing with negative emotions can be extremely powerful and you must ensure that you have all the support you need. So, before you attempt to use the techniques in this section to release negative emotions or understand your limiting decisions, keep the following points in mind:
✓ In order to tackle extremely serious emotional issues, for example, the trauma of child abuse or divorce, we definitely recommend that you see a qualified therapist.
✓ Working with another person is best when examining time lines because that person can keep you grounded if you forget the exercise and suc- cumb to the emotions you’re experiencing. Someone else can also ensure that you follow the steps correctly.
The diagram shown in Figure 13-5 is very important to the following exercises because it clarifies the locations along your time line that you need to be aware of. The diagram is particularly useful to people who are more visual, those who create pictures in their minds.
Figure 13-5:
Locations on your time line.
Past
Present
Future SEE, or
Root Cause
1 2
3
✓ Location number 1 in the figure represents the position you float up to, which is directly above the present on your time line.
✓ Location number 2 is directly above the SEE (Significant Emotional Event) or root cause.
✓ Location number 3 is still way above your time line but 15 minutes before the root cause.
This exercise introduces you to a process that helps you to remove the nega- tive emotions you may be holding on to, such as being prone to inappropriate feelings of anger. Please remember to keep an open mind to the answers that your unconscious mind presents: