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Writing task 2 8.5+ 9899 families eating together

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Tiêu đề The Tradition Of Families Getting Together To Eat Meals Is Disappearing
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These hectic schedules leave them with little, if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family.The

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Overall band score 8.5 9+8+9+9

See below C&C LR GRA Model answer

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Write about the following topic:

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing.

What are the reasons?

What are the impacts?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Write at least 250 words

Original answer -

It is widely recognized that the tradition of family gathering for meals is gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the family

The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being occupied with their work or studies These days, it is common to see adults

spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various

supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,

if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for

convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family

The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions First, family mealtimes are not just about eating but also about building

connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into

account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking them means that people would rely more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health issues like obesity

In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health

Overall band score 8.5 9+8+9+9

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TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed Your position is coherent and well-argued The ideas are relevant, extended, and

coherent

Advice On Brainstorming For Task 2

As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly

ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the

question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're

directly relevant

question

the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least 2

of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question

ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea

before, as there will always be important differences

that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction

It is widely recognized that the tradition of family gathering for meals is gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of

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The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being

spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various

supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,

if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for

The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching

building connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage

members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking them means that people would rely more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health

In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial,

C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score 8

The organisation is excellent and easy to follow

The paragraphs have a natural flow of ideas and clear central topics

Use of cohesive devices and referencing is excellent throughout

Most examiners will give you 9

Paragraphing for Task 2

I recommend you write 4 paragraphs as follows:

After reading the introduction, the reader should have a

good idea what the essay is about, and what your position

(opinion) is It should be possible to write an introduction in

under 50 words It is not necessary to write a long

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background statement.

expand on the ideas sufficiently to persuade the examiner

that you’ve fully supported the main ideas If you write 3

main bodies, it is more difficult to expand and support them

sufficiently to get a high score

they’re given and write one paragraph per question

each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and 2 or

more supporting ideas which support the topic sentence with

reasons, evidence, and examples Do not waste time with

lots of background information

and the main ideas, and it should not introduce new ideas It

should directly answer the question Do not leave the

examiner in any doubt about whether you’ve answered the

question

to clarify your position, make sure that give a good reason to

reject one of the sides If you just restated the original ideas

about one side, the examiner may decide you have covered

one side more than the other

extent question if you have main ideas which both agree and

disagree with the proposition Avoid short paragraphs, with

under 70 words, as it may be difficult to show a clear central

topic in a short paragraph.

gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the

The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being

spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra

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supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules [l]leave them with little,

convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family

The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching

building connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially

opportunity to encourage members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking

to a wide range of health issues like obesity

In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of

considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health

LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficient flexibility to show precise meaning, with a wide variety of vocabulary, used accurately and with a high level of control

Errors are allowed as minor slips

gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the family

occupied with their work or studies These days, it is common to see adults

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spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various

supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,

if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for

The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions First, family mealtimes are not just about eating but also about building

connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into

account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage members to

more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health issues like obesity

In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health

GRA – Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

Grammar is used accurately with a wide variety of structures, which should be good for a band score 9

Punctuation is used correctly throughout

Appropriate structures are used throughout

It is widely recognized that the tradition of family gathering for meals is gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the family

The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being occupied with their work or studies These days, it is common to see adults

spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various

Trang 7

supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,

if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for

convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family

The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions First, family mealtimes are not just about eating but also about building

connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into

account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking them means that people would rely more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health issues like obesity

In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health

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