These hectic schedules leave them with little, if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family.The
Trang 1Overall band score 8.5 9+8+9+9
See below C&C LR GRA Model answer
WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task
Write about the following topic:
The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing.
What are the reasons?
What are the impacts?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Write at least 250 words
Original answer -
It is widely recognized that the tradition of family gathering for meals is gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the family
The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being occupied with their work or studies These days, it is common to see adults
spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various
supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,
if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for
convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family
The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions First, family mealtimes are not just about eating but also about building
connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into
account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking them means that people would rely more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health issues like obesity
In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health
Overall band score 8.5 9+8+9+9
Trang 2TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected
Band score 9
You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed Your position is coherent and well-argued The ideas are relevant, extended, and
coherent
Advice On Brainstorming For Task 2
As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly
ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the
question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're
directly relevant
question
the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least 2
of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question
ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea
before, as there will always be important differences
that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction
It is widely recognized that the tradition of family gathering for meals is gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of
Trang 3The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being
spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various
supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,
if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for
The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching
building connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage
members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking them means that people would rely more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health
In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial,
C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score 8
The organisation is excellent and easy to follow
The paragraphs have a natural flow of ideas and clear central topics
Use of cohesive devices and referencing is excellent throughout
Most examiners will give you 9
Paragraphing for Task 2
I recommend you write 4 paragraphs as follows:
After reading the introduction, the reader should have a
good idea what the essay is about, and what your position
(opinion) is It should be possible to write an introduction in
under 50 words It is not necessary to write a long
Trang 4background statement.
expand on the ideas sufficiently to persuade the examiner
that you’ve fully supported the main ideas If you write 3
main bodies, it is more difficult to expand and support them
sufficiently to get a high score
they’re given and write one paragraph per question
each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and 2 or
more supporting ideas which support the topic sentence with
reasons, evidence, and examples Do not waste time with
lots of background information
and the main ideas, and it should not introduce new ideas It
should directly answer the question Do not leave the
examiner in any doubt about whether you’ve answered the
question
to clarify your position, make sure that give a good reason to
reject one of the sides If you just restated the original ideas
about one side, the examiner may decide you have covered
one side more than the other
extent question if you have main ideas which both agree and
disagree with the proposition Avoid short paragraphs, with
under 70 words, as it may be difficult to show a clear central
topic in a short paragraph.
gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the
The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being
spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra
Trang 5supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules [l]leave them with little,
convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family
The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching
building connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially
opportunity to encourage members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking
to a wide range of health issues like obesity
In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of
considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health
LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected
Band score 9
Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficient flexibility to show precise meaning, with a wide variety of vocabulary, used accurately and with a high level of control
Errors are allowed as minor slips
gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the family
occupied with their work or studies These days, it is common to see adults
Trang 6spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various
supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,
if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for
The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions First, family mealtimes are not just about eating but also about building
connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into
account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage members to
more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health issues like obesity
In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health
GRA – Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected
Band score 9
Grammar is used accurately with a wide variety of structures, which should be good for a band score 9
Punctuation is used correctly throughout
Appropriate structures are used throughout
It is widely recognized that the tradition of family gathering for meals is gradually becoming a thing of the past In this essay, I will outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon before showing how it could adversely affect the family
The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is much a result of people being occupied with their work or studies These days, it is common to see adults
spending more time in the workplace, trying to finish deadlines or earn extra money; meanwhile, the majority of children today have to attend various
Trang 7supplementary classes after school These hectic schedules leave them with little,
if any, time for eating, so they normally would grab some fast food for
convenience, instead of going home for dinner with their family
The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions First, family mealtimes are not just about eating but also about building
connections and strengthening bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially fuel more conflicts Aside from damaging family relationships, the impact on health also needs taking into
account As family meals often provide an opportunity to encourage members to eat nutritious, home-cooked meals, lacking them means that people would rely more on fast food, hence their vulnerability to a wide range of health issues like obesity
In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals This trend is nowhere near beneficial, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and health