The draft contains many more errors than you will be asked about. Reading the questions first can help you focus on the mistakes that you will need to revise and not be distracted by the other weaknesses and errors.
3. Read the questions carefully.The questions will tell you the specific lines to revise and the specific writing issue(s) that need to be addressed. For exam- ple, if a question asks, “Which phrase, if added to the beginning of sentence 2, would most improve the essay?” you know you need to determine the relation- ship between sentences 1 and 2 and then find the best transition.
4. Remember the 3C’s.For questions that ask you to revise sentences, use the 3C’s as your guide. Choose the version that is correct(no grammar, usage, or logic errors),clear(no ambiguity or confusing sen- tence structure), and concise(no unnecessary wordi- ness).
5. Study the most common question topics.This will help you know what to expect and what to look for as you read the passages.
6. Save the big picture questions for last.They’re usually the most time-consuming Improving Para- graphs question type.
Practice Improving Paragraphs Questions
Directions:Questions 21–25 are based on the follow- ing passage, a first draft of an essay about the evocation of mood and emotion in Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell- Tale Heart.” Read the passage and the questions that fol- low. For each question, choose the answer that will most improve the passage. Some questions ask you to choose the best revision of a particular sentence or pair of sentences. Other questions ask you to consider how to best improve the overall organization of the pas- sage. In each case, the correct answer is the one that most closely conforms to the conventions of formal writing. The answers are at the end of the chapter.
(1)Writers have to be very skillful in word choice in order to evoke emotions. (2)As I explored Edgar Allan Poe’s works, I became intrigued with the way Poe carefully chose language and how it elicits spe- cific feelings.
(3)Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” involves a young man who rents a room from an elderly man in a large, dark mansion. (4)Descriptions of this eerie setting help Poe create the mood. (5)He masterfully builds suspense in “The Tell-Tale Heart.” (6)You realize he is capable of anything. (7)For example, the tenant opens his landlord’s bedroom door at night
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and stares at his glass eye for hours while in a seething rage.
(8)The police investigate the home after a neighbor reported hearing screams. (9)The tenant invites the police into the room where he did hide the corpse that was dismembered. (10)Poe adds to the suspenseful mood because you wonder if the man will confess to murder. (11)While being inter- rogated, the man hears a faint heartbeat that grows louder. (12)However, he is the only one who hears it.
(13)His attempt to fool the police while sitting on the corpse fails as he mentally breaks down from the noise inside his mind and confesses.
(14)As Poe creates an eerie, suspenseful tone in his fiction, it shows that authors can lead their read- ers to feel certain emotions through their writing.
21. In the context of the passage, which of the fol- lowing is the most effective revision of sentence 9 (reprinted below)?
(9)The tenant invites the police into the room where he did hide the corpse that was dismembered.
a.The tenant invites the police into the room where he hid the dismembered corpse.
b.The tenant did invite the police into the room where he did hide the dismembered corpse.
c. The tenant led the police to the room where he did hide the corpse that was dismembered.
d.The tenant invites the police right near where the dismembered corpse was hiding.
e. In a move that only adds to the eerie and sus- penseful tone, the tenant invites the police to come into the room where earlier he hid the dismembered corpse.
22. Which of the following revisions is the best way to combine sentences 4 and 5?
(4)Descriptions of this eerie setting help Poe create the mood. (5)He masterfully builds suspense in
“The Tell-Tale Heart.”
a.In “The Tell-Tale Heart,” Poe not only creates the mood by describing this eerie setting he also masterfully builds suspense.
b.Creation of mood is achieved through
descriptions of this eerie setting, and then Poe masterfully builds suspense.
c. This eerie setting helps Poe create the mood, and set the stage for the suspense he will mas- terfully build.
d.Poe not only creates the mood by describing this eerie setting, but also in “The Tell-Tale Heart,” he masterfully builds suspense.
e. Poe simultaneously creates mood and builds suspense in “The Tell-Tale Heart” by describ- ing this eerie setting.
23. The revision to sentences 11 and 12 that would most improve the essay is:
(11)While being interrogated, the man hears a faint heartbeat that grows louder. (12)However, he is the only one who hears it.
a.Place sentence 12 before sentence 11.
b.Delete the word however, and connect the sen- tences with the word and.
c. Connect the sentences with a comma.
d.Delete sentence 12.
e. Leave them as is.
24. In the context of the essay, which of the following revisions of sentence 14 more effectively con- cludes the essay?
(14)As Poe creates an eerie, suspenseful tone in his fiction, it shows that authors can lead their readers to feel certain emotions through their writing.
a.Poe’s building up of an eerie mood and sus- penseful tone is a good example of how authors can lead their readers to feel certain emotions through their writing.
b.The powerful conclusion of “The Tell-Tale Heart” shows that strong emotions can be felt by readers of fiction when the author, such as Poe, creates an eerie, suspenseful tone.
c. Poe’s creation of an eerie, suspenseful tone shows that authors can lead their readers.
d.The powerful conclusion of “The Tell-Tale Heart” is yet another example of Poe’s mastery of language and his ability to evoke emotion.
e. Poe’s masterful creation of mood and tone in
“The Tell-Tale Heart” puts him in a league of other great writers of suspense, such as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Ellery Queen.
25. Which of the following is the most logical order of sentences within paragraph 2?
(3)Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” involves a young man who rents a room from an elderly man in a large, dark mansion. (4)Descriptions of this eerie setting help Poe create the mood. (5)He masterfully builds suspense in “The Tell-Tale Heart.” (6)You realize he is capable of anything. (7)For example, the tenant opens his landlord’s bedroom door at night and stares at his glass eye for hours while in a seething rage.
a.3, 7, 4, 5, 6 b.3, 4, 6, 5, 7 c. 5, 4, 6, 7, 3 d.3, 5, 4, 6, 7 e. 3, 4, 5, 7, 6
C o m m i t To M e m o r y
Here are the most important lessons from Chapter 2:
■ No matter the order they’re presented in, answer Writing section multiple-choice questions as fol- lows: Identifying Sentence Errors, Improving Sen- tences, and Improving Paragraphs.
■ If you can eliminate one or more responses, but aren’t sure of the answer, guess.
■ If you’ve spent a few minutes on a question, and still can’t eliminate a response or two, skip it and move on.
■ About 20% of the Identifying Sentence Errors and Improving Sentences questions will have no error.
That means for Identifying Sentence Errors ques- tions, you’ll select choice e(“no error”), and for Improving Sentences questions, you’ll select choice a(same as the original sentence).
■ Questions are presented from easiest to hardest.
For the hardest questions, expect the answer to be tricky; what at first looks to be the correct answer may not be.
■ Identifying Sentence Errors questions don’t test your knowledge of spelling or punctuation, so don’t waste time looking for those types of errors.
■ Don’t waste time reading choice ain Improving Sentences questions; it merely repeats the original sentence.
■ Target your studies: based on the analysis of your first practice test, pinpoint the areas you’re weak- est in, and spend the most time studying them.
Still not sure whether to use lay or lie, whoor whom? Now’s the time to get it straight.
■ The best sentences are those that use the 3C’s: cor- rect (no grammar or usage errors or lapses in logic), clear (no ambiguity or tangled sentence structure), and concise (no unnecessary wordiness).
■ Read the choices for Improving Paragraphs ques- tions carefully. Some of them may be “No error,”
and others will repeat the same error as the original sentence, but these responses could be a,b,c,d, or e.
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A n s w e r K e y
Identifying Sentence Errors 1. d.The verb was feelingshould be in the simple
past tense (felt) to maintain consistency with frettedand worried.
2. b.The adjective fewershould be used with the noun people.Lessis used for singular nouns that represent a quantity or degree (less salt, less time), while feweris used to modify plural nouns or things that can be counted (fewer bagels, fewer minutes).
3. a. The verb tenses in this sentence are not consis- tent. In order to maintain consistency, the present tense realizesshould be changed to the past tense realized.
4. b.The verb have finishedexpresses the action of the noun one. Therefore, it should take the singular form has finished.
5. e. There is no error in this sentence. If you chose d, recall that the pronoun everyoneis singular.
The pronoun following this antecedent must agree with it (in this case, the singular pro- nouns his or her).
6. d.Can’tand hardlyare both negatives. When used together, they cancel each other’s mean- ing. To correct the sentence, either drop hardly, or change can’tto can.
7. b.Carefulis an adjective. In this sentence, it incorrectly modifies the verb handle. The cor- rect word is the adverb carefully.
8. a. This is an idiom error; the correct preposition