简述中国传统婚俗文化
婚礼概念
Weddings are religious or legal ceremonies that signify the recognition and blessing of society They aim to prevent bigamy, assist newlyweds in adapting to their new social roles and responsibilities, and prepare them to embrace societal obligations.
Weddings are defined by contemporary cultural anthropologists as a "social method marking the beginning of marriage." This definition highlights the necessity of a socially recognized ceremony to establish a marital relationship between a man and a woman From a social history perspective, weddings, like other social phenomena, emerge under specific historical conditions and evolve alongside societal changes and shifts in marital forms, leading to varied interpretations of the concept of marriage ceremonies.
Weddings symbolize the culmination of a couple's journey toward maturity, affirming their love in the eyes of society Marriage unites both love and responsibility between partners True love involves a proactive commitment to give and take, leading individuals to naturally embrace their responsibilities.
In Chinese culture, marriage is considered a lifelong commitment that significantly influences an individual's happiness and future Traditional customs dictate the rules surrounding marriage, heavily influenced by centuries of feudal and Confucian values Ceremonies are often bound by various rituals, as the Chinese place great importance on etiquette Essential to every traditional wedding are the principles of "matching social status" and the adherence to the "Three Letters and Six Rites."
Chinese wedding customs are unique and captivating, contributing to the richness of Chinese culture These traditions have evolved over time, yet they consistently create an atmosphere of solemnity, joy, happiness, and good fortune.
[9] https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%A9%9A%E7%A4%BC/40443?fr=kg_qa
Cuốn sách "Cultural Variations: An Introduction to Modern Cultural Anthropology" của C Enber và M Enber, được dịch bởi Linh San San và xuất bản bởi Nhà xuất bản Nhân dân Liêu Ninh vào năm 1988, cung cấp cái nhìn sâu sắc về sự đa dạng văn hóa trong bối cảnh hiện đại Tác phẩm này khám phá các khía cạnh khác nhau của nhân học văn hóa, nhấn mạnh tầm quan trọng của việc hiểu biết và tôn trọng sự khác biệt văn hóa trong xã hội ngày nay.
[11] 指关系一辈子的事情，一般多指婚姻
婚礼的产生
According to Guo Xingwen in "Chinese Traditional Marriage Customs," the origins of marriage customs can be understood from a cultural anthropology perspective, highlighting the evolution from sexual instincts to sexual culture and from natural attributes to social attributes As human productivity and intelligence advanced, taboos emerged between the sexes Initially, sexual relations between parents and children were prohibited, marking a transition from bloodline group marriages to hierarchical group marriages Subsequently, incestuous relationships among siblings became taboo, leading to a shift from intra-clan marriages to inter-clan marriages, with all sexual relations between blood relatives being banned within clans.
儒家主张“严男女之大防” [13] ，强调贞节观念等。如《礼记.曲礼》 [14] 说：
The various sexual taboos outlined in ancient texts, such as prohibitions against men and women sitting together, sharing utensils, or engaging in close interactions, reflect the historical understanding of sexuality and its significant impact on marriage and intimate relationships These restrictions serve as guidelines for marital conduct, emphasizing the importance of examining the influence of such customs on the forms and practices of ancient Chinese marriage Understanding these cultural norms is essential for a comprehensive study of historical marital structures and traditions.
The ethical and moral concept of "gender distinction" evolving into "spousal distinction" is fundamentally rooted in gender awareness, with its essence lying in "sexual taboos." This is particularly evident through the lens of chastity customs, as the ancient marriage and chastity views are direct products of these taboos, profoundly influencing the development of marriage customs "Sexual taboos" not only directly lead to the multifaceted evolution of marriage forms and practices but also indirectly give rise to various marriage customs In ancient societies, the emphasis on "gender differences" and stringent social boundaries severely limited interactions between the sexes, making even simple communication challenging Consequently, marriages were typically arranged through intermediaries, leading to the establishment of enduring and stable matchmaking customs in ancient marriage practices.
One crucial aspect of the "Six Rites" ceremony is the "Inquiry of Names." The gradual expansion of sexual taboos and their increasing strictness have facilitated humanity's transition toward a more stable monogamous marriage system The evolution of marriage is undoubtedly a lengthy process It is clear that sexual taboos not only serve as the origin of marriage customs but also play a significant role in the development of these customs alongside the overall progression of social culture.
Weddings emerged as a significant cultural milestone in the evolution of marriage, rooted in ancestral worship and shaped by the belief in deities They developed under specific historical conditions that facilitated social connections and cultural practices The establishment of stable family structures and enduring marital relationships also played a crucial role in the formation of wedding traditions.
[12] 郭兴文，中国传统婚姻风俗》，陕西人民出版社，2002
[14] 《礼记.曲礼》，第二十一章
[15] Nguyễn Thùy Vân, Hôn nhân và gia đình thời kỳ cổ đại ở Trung Quốc, tạp chí nghiên cứu văn hóa, 2011
The emergence of social, cultural, and psychological phenomena is closely linked to humanity's transition into the era of monogamy, which likely began during the late stages of the primitive dual marriage system The establishment and continuation of weddings are inherently tied to their social functions Once a wedding, marked by ancestral and divine rituals and societal recognition, takes place, the marriage becomes public This creates a psychological effect, instilling a strong sense of social obligation in both parties Additionally, the economic ties formed through bride price and other marital gifts further reinforce this sense of obligation, contributing to the stability of marital relationships.
1.3 中国传统婚礼习俗的演变
Chinese traditional weddings, primarily Han-style weddings, trace their origins back to the Zhou Dynasty, an era renowned for its emphasis on rituals Over the centuries, these ceremonies have undergone significant transformations, evolving into a comprehensive set of marriage customs The "Yili" provides detailed regulations governing these practices, culminating in the "Six Rites," which have established a foundational framework for traditional Chinese weddings.
1.3.1 秦汉时期的婚礼习俗
In the pre-Qin period, it was customary to use deer hides as gifts during the ritual of 纳征, with specific quantities being significant Scholars Du You and Zheng Qiao provided reasonable explanations for this practice, noting that ancient people consumed the flesh of animals and used their skins for clothing This tradition of using hides as primary gifts during 纳征 reflects the importance of hunting in ancient society, where animal skins were highly valued Consequently, when a man proposed to a woman, presenting a certain number of deer hides was considered the best gift.
Before the Zhou Dynasty, weddings were considered a somber affair, marked by the absence of music and congratulatory rituals, as reflected in the saying, "Weddings do not require music, for they embody a solemn meaning." However, during the Qin and Han Dynasties, this perspective shifted significantly, as celebrations became more vibrant and lively The Han Dynasty marked a pivotal change in Chinese history, as it officially denounced the notion of not celebrating weddings through government decrees, leading to the gradual acceptance of congratulatory practices in marriage ceremonies.
[16] 一男一女结为夫妻的婚姻形式
[17] 秦汉（公元前 221 年－公元 220 年）
[18] 郑樵，《通志》卷四十四，中华书局，1987 年版，第 588 页
[19] 郊特牲，《礼记》，中国孔子网
1.3.2 唐宋时期的婚礼习俗
During the Tang and Song dynasties, significant changes occurred in both social culture and political systems While wedding customs still adhered to the traditional six rites, they were simplified to better align with societal transformations and the needs of the ruling authorities.
During the Tang Dynasty, wedding customs reflected a blend of the traditional Six Rites and influences from various northern ethnic cultures According to "Customizing Wedding Planning in the Tang Dynasty," several new practices emerged, including the bridal procession, setting up the bridal chamber, covering the wedding carriage, the groom's arrival, riding the bridal horse, the couple's ceremonial vows, and paying respects to the bride's relatives These evolving customs provide valuable insights into the historical significance of Tang Dynasty weddings.
During the Song Dynasty, marriage customs evolved significantly from the Tang Dynasty, where marriage contracts transformed into posts The betrothal gifts varied according to social status, with wealthy families offering the "three golds"—gold hairpins, gold bracelets, and gold pendants Those unable to afford these items would substitute with gold-plated silver gifts While the Tang Dynasty featured around ten types of betrothal gifts, the Song Dynasty expanded this to dozens, reflecting the economic development of the era and a growing emphasis on wealth among the general populace.
The wedding customs of the Tang Dynasty were influenced by the open social environment and the integration of various ethnic groups, incorporating elements from Northern minority cultures This unique style continued into the Song Dynasty Additionally, the prevalence of aristocratic marriages during the Tang period reflected a rigid societal mindset regarding marriage practices.
[20] 唐宋主要包括三个阶段：唐朝、五代十国、南北宋
[21] 东方传奇，《唐朝婚礼策划定制》，2020
中国传统婚礼礼仪习俗
三书
According to traditional Chinese customs, the "Three Letters" (三书) are essential components of marriage ceremonies, consisting of the Betrothal Letter, the Wedding Letter, and the Letter of Welcoming the Bride In discussions about marriage, these Three Letters are often mentioned alongside the Six Rites, highlighting their significance in Chinese wedding traditions.
“礼书”“迎书”。“三书”的作用应是古人为保障婚姻所立的有效文字记录，但
“三书”并非周制婚礼。
“聘书”——订亲之书，是男女双方正式缔结婚约，在订婚时交换
“礼书”——礼物清单，当中详列礼物种类及数量，过大礼时交换
“迎书”——迎娶新娘之书，结婚当日接新娘过门时用。
六礼
Traditional marriage rituals in China began to take shape during the Zhou Dynasty, establishing a complete system known as the "Six Rites." Although variations exist across different regions and historical periods, these rituals generally adhere to the framework of the "Six Rites."
这“六礼”是：纳采，问名，纳吉，纳征，请期，亲迎。
"Nazhai," the first of the six traditional marriage rites, involves the groom's family hiring a matchmaker to formally propose to the bride's family, expressing their desire to establish a marital union In traditional contexts, marriage is arranged without the autonomy of the young couple, as parents take the lead in seeking suitable partners for their children when they reach marriageable age During this process, the groom's family presents gifts as part of the proposal, emphasizing the importance of this ritual in the marriage arrangement.
The "Marriage Ceremony" outlined in the "Rites of Zhou" specifies six key rituals, with five of them involving the use of a goose These rituals include the proposal, name inquiry, auspicious date selection, formal invitation, and the welcoming of the bride The choice of the goose as a gift is rooted in the belief that it symbolizes the harmonious balance of yin and yang in the union.
[24] 曲彦斌《国婚礼仪式史略》，民俗研究，2000
[25] https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E4%B8%89%E4%B9%A6
[26] 刘昌安 ，温勤能 婚姻“六礼”的文化内涵 汉中师院学报（哲学社会科学版），1994
The traditional practice of "Na Cai," also known as matchmaking or marriage proposal, involves the groom's family hiring a matchmaker to visit the bride's family and express the groom's intention to marry During this process, the matchmaker inquires about the bride's age and zodiac sign, and often consults a fortune teller to perform an astrological compatibility analysis based on their birth dates.
If the woman accepts the bride price from the man, it signifies her consent to the marriage The next step in the process is known as "asking for names." This involves the matchmaker exchanging the names, birth dates, places of origin, and family backgrounds of both parties, essentially sharing their "Eight Characters" (or Four Pillars), which refer to the year, month, day, and hour of their birth After this exchange, both parties will share their respective "Eight Characters."
In ancient customs, the practice of "asking for names" was akin to modern engagements, commonly referred to as "big determination" or "small determination," as well as the exchange of "dragon and phoenix posts." This involved the formal exchange of birth years between the couple, serving a similar purpose to contemporary engagement certificates However, unlike today's practices, this exchange also required detailed information about the couple's three generations, as well as the names, titles, origins, and addresses of the officiant.
这种“八字”是写在——张红纸上，上面写男女双方的出生年月日时如:
男XX乾造OO年OO月OO日O时建生
女XX坤造OO年OO月OO日O时瑞生
During this stage, both sets of parents can observe each other in some manner, allowing them to assess appearances However, the individuals involved, the man and woman, are not permitted to meet.
At first glance, this approach appears to prioritize the responsibilities of both parties in a marriage; however, it primarily focuses on examining the family history of the prospective couple There is little emphasis placed on the individuals themselves, which aligns with the saying that suggests the importance of lineage over personal attributes in marital considerations.
“门当户对”的意义就更加明显了。
问名也要送礼物。 “六札”简化后，“纳采”和“问名”就同时进行。
This is the third step in the process, symbolizing the acceptance of good fortune In traditional Chinese marriage, the foundation is based on "the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker."
The earliest recorded documentation of wedding ceremonies in China can be found in the "Rites of Zhou: Marriage Ceremony," which outlines a comprehensive set of marriage rituals.
[28] 邵伟华，四柱预测例题剖析，中州古籍出版社，1998
[29] 秋水风水大师，中国古代结婚择日注意事项，2019
In ancient times, the practice known as "纳吉" (Naj) was also referred to as "卜吉," where individuals would consult their ancestors in a temple to determine the suitability of a marriage Over time, this ritual evolved into what is now called "小聘" (Xiao Pin), which involves the groom presenting engagement gifts to the bride Commonly, these gifts include clothing and jewelry, such as hairpins, earrings, and rings, along with some fabric and a modest amount of money Additionally, the groom is expected to send gifts to the bride's family during festivals and provide her with seasonal clothing.
“帖子”称之为“龙风帖” [31] ，类似今天的“结婚证”。
Once the woman accepts the man's "naji" gifts, she should reciprocate with items such as a hat, shoes, and writing materials, thereby completing the nuptial gift-giving ritual.
The practice of "na zheng," also known as "na cheng," involves the groom presenting a dowry to the bride's family This ritual must be completed before the groom can marry the bride, reflecting the traditional view of marriage in China as a form of "transactional union."
The 纳征 ceremony, which can occur once or twice, is a significant milestone in the marriage process, referred to as 小定礼 and 大定礼 when conducted twice During this ceremony, the groom's family must select an auspicious even-numbered date to present gifts to the bride's family, accompanied by a matchmaker, usually a woman, and the groom's parents and maternal relatives, primarily his aunts Historically, this ceremony is akin to the modern practice of presenting a bride price, with the gift-giving typically scheduled for the day before the bride's arrival at her new home.
In ancient times, the practice of "纳征," referred to as "纳币," was defined during the Zhou Dynasty as "入币," with specific regulations regarding the items and quantities involved in marriage transactions According to the "Zhou Li" (Rites of Zhou), it was stipulated that for marrying a son or daughter, the bride price should consist solely of silk, not exceeding five taels During this period, metal currency was not yet in use; instead, cloth served as the medium of exchange, known as "币帛" or "缁帛."
以后，对“纳征”、“纳币”这一礼节进行了通俗的定义，称其为“了财”、
中国传统婚礼流程
婚前礼
In traditional wedding ceremonies, the pre-wedding rituals hold significant importance The couple exchanges their birth dates and engages in a fortune-telling session to ensure compatibility If their horoscopes show no conflicts, they proceed with the "na qin," indicating mutual acceptance of marriage intentions At this stage, the groom presents a betrothal gift and a marriage contract to the bride's family The timing for delivering these gifts is typically set for 15 to 20 days before the wedding, with the groom choosing an auspicious date to propose at the bride's home This process includes several key steps: the betrothal, name inquiry, auspicious date selection, and formal invitation to the wedding.
The act of matchmaking is the crucial first step in the marriage process When both families are well-matched, the groom's parents send a matchmaker to propose, accompanied by gifts.
Since the Zhou Dynasty, it has been customary for the male family to engage a matchmaker to inquire about a woman's birth month and name, presenting a goose as a token of respect Over time, this inquiry expanded beyond just her name and birth details to include aspects such as social status, occupation, family wealth, appearance, and age.
Known as "Guowending," this tradition involves the groom's family informing the bride's family of their intention to proceed with the marriage negotiations after receiving an auspicious omen A matchmaker then visits the bride's family with a ceremonial letter to formally propose, marking the exchange of engagement letters, which is akin to modern-day engagements This letter is part of the ancient wedding customs known as the "Three Letters," serving as the first document in the betrothal process and solidifying the marriage agreement between the couple.
[45] 王一前，中国传 统婚礼习俗的演变，延安大学，2015
[46] https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%85%AD%E7%A4%BC
[47] 三书分别是“聘书”“礼书”“迎书”
The "Guo Da Li," also known as the key element of the Six Rites, is akin to modern engagement gifts In ancient times, animals were commonly used as betrothal gifts, evolving to the use of a complete deer in the Shang Dynasty and later to five ounces of colorful silk and a pair of deer hides during the Zhou Dynasty Over time, these gifts became increasingly luxurious and varied across different regions and historical periods.
The practice known as "Tirizi" involves the groom's family selecting an auspicious wedding date, preferably on a double month and double day, symbolizing the belief that good things come in pairs Following this, the groom's family prepares gifts and enlists a matchmaker to inform the bride's family, seeking their consent for the marriage date, traditionally accompanied by the offering of good luck geese.
The "Welcoming Ceremony," also known as "Houdai," marks the wedding day when the groom arrives at the bride's home with the final letter of the "Three Letters." The groom personally comes to escort the bride to their new home, and this ceremony is traditionally guided by a matchmaker This event is essentially the first step of the official wedding ceremony.
正婚礼
The wedding ceremony is the most crucial part of the marriage process, encompassing the rituals performed on the wedding day It typically begins with the groom honoring his ancestors before proceeding to the bride's home to fetch her, accompanied by a band playing music Meanwhile, the bride prepares in her chamber, getting dressed in her wedding attire and covering her face with a red veil, awaiting the groom's arrival Upon his arrival, both the groom and bride kneel to pay respects to her parents, after which the bride is assisted into the bridal sedan chair by her sister or female relatives Once they reach the groom's home, the groom's female relatives open the sedan door to welcome the bride, who then steps over a fire basin as the couple holds a red silk ribbon while entering the hall together The ceremony continues with the couple bowing to heaven and earth, followed by their parents, and finally to each other, all set to the sound of drums and music as they enter the bridal chamber The formal wedding rituals conclude here, after which the groom celebrates with guests while the bride remains in the new house.
Traditional Chinese wedding customs encompass various significant rituals, including the groom's formal welcoming of the bride, the bride's descent from the bridal sedan, the exchange of vows, the ceremonial sharing of wine, the untying of the bride's hair, and the lively celebration known as "trouble the bridal chamber."
Similar to the final ceremony in the Six Rites, the groom dons traditional wedding attire and a red flower, arriving at the bride's home on horseback to escort her in a flower sedan Along the way, a joyful procession plays music, and passersby offer their congratulations.
The "Tumed Right Banner Chronicle," compiled by the Tumed Right Banner Editorial Committee, highlights traditional customs and language, focusing on life ceremonies in its first chapter This resource, published in 2009, offers valuable insights into the cultural practices and linguistic heritage of the region.
[49] 李辰，中国传统婚姻习俗，科技致富向导，2014
传统婚礼新娘下轿三步走
The first step, known as "Three Arrows Settle the Universe," involves the bride standing in front of the bridal sedan chair and shooting three arrows—Heavenly Evil, Earthly Evil, and Sedan Evil—to dispel any bad luck encountered along the way.
In the second step of the wedding ceremony, the bride is assisted by two attendants as she descends from the sedan chair, holding a vase of flowers She crosses over a saddle placed at the entrance, which is adorned with a string of coins Just as her front foot steps onto the threshold, the attendants swiftly remove the saddle, symbolizing the belief that a virtuous woman should not marry two husbands, just as a fine horse should not bear two saddles.
In the third step of the wedding ceremony, the groom's family prepares a fire basin at their entrance for the bride to leap over, symbolizing a prosperous and vibrant future for the newlyweds Following this, the couple proceeds home, where various grains are scattered over the bride, signifying protection against evil spirits.
In ancient wedding ceremonies, newlyweds performed rituals to honor deities and ancestors, which later evolved to express gratitude and respect towards parents The "Jiao Bai" ceremony, which originated during the Song Dynasty, involves a sequence where the bride and groom first pay homage to heaven and earth, then to their parents, and finally exchange bows with each other.
The "Bai Tian Di" ceremony is an ancient ritual where the couple performs a series of bows to each other, starting with the woman bowing first, followed by the man, and then the woman bows again This sequence reflects the traditional customs, where men show respect through a deeper bow, while women perform multiple bows as a sign of reverence Notably, the practice of reciprocal bows between men and women began during the Song Dynasty.
One of the Han ethnic group's wedding customs, originating from the Zhou Dynasty, involves the bride and groom sharing a drink, which has evolved into the ritual of "cross-cup wine." This tradition includes three forms: drinking from the same cup, exchanging cups, and drinking while tied together, symbolizing the idea of sharing joys and sorrows together.
During the wedding ceremony, the groom removes the wedding ribbon from the bride's hair, symbolizing their union He then cuts a lock of her hair and takes a piece of his own Using the red ribbon, the bride opens a brocade pouch, and the groom places the hair inside Together, they tighten the string of the pouch, signifying their commitment to love each other until old age and to remain united in heart and mind.
[50] https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%85%AD%E7%A4%BC
[51] 烈女不嫁二夫是一个汉语成语，意思是贞烈的妇女不嫁第二个丈夫。
[52] 北京秉季婚道教育科技研究院，中国传统婚俗研究，2017
During the three days of celebration, guests of all ages can playfully tease the newlyweds This tradition not only enhances the festive atmosphere but also helps the bride and groom, who may not have met before, to break the ice and allows both families and friends to quickly get acquainted.
婚后礼
Completing the wedding ceremony signifies the conclusion of ancient marriage traditions; however, due to the profound influence of filial piety culture, both the bride and groom must perform the rites of becoming a wife and husband, respectively, before they can officially be recognized as a married couple.
The post-wedding ceremony, also known as "becoming a wife" or "becoming a husband," refers to the rituals observed by the couple on the second and third days after their wedding On the morning of the second day, the bride and groom visit the groom's parents, where the bride serves tea to her in-laws On the third day, they pay respects to their ancestors together In some regions, the bride, accompanied by the groom, returns to her family home, a tradition known as "returning to the maternal home" or "visiting the door."
On the morning after the wedding, the bride must rise early to prepare dates, chestnuts, and longans, which are placed in bamboo containers She then waits outside her in-laws' door to pay her respects to them.
Initially, after meeting her in-laws, the bride would personally serve them their meals and then eat the leftovers from their bowls as a sign of filial piety By the Tang Dynasty, this tradition evolved into a practice where, three days after the wedding, the bride was expected to cook and prepare food for her in-laws to demonstrate her devotion and respect.
After the bride presents gifts to her in-laws, they express their care by providing her with food and mouthwash, honoring her with the "Three Rites" ceremony Subsequently, they perform the "Bending Down the Steps" ritual, symbolizing the bride's new role in managing household affairs.
Three days after the wedding, the bride and groom visit the bride's family, bringing gifts such as a roasted pig, before returning to the groom's family, a tradition known as "returning to the bride's home."
The "Chronicles of Tumote Right Banner," compiled by the Editorial Committee of the Tumote Banner, highlights the significance of life rituals within local customs and language, emphasizing the cultural practices surrounding important life events This documentation, published in 2009, serves as a vital resource for understanding the traditional ceremonies that shape the community's identity and social interactions.
[54] 寓意就是“早生贵子”
The ceremonial gift known as "Yixian" or "Three Jue" is a significant aspect of traditional culture, rooted in the etiquette of banquet rituals It originates from the ceremonial practices outlined in the Zhou Li, as well as references found in the Book of Songs (Shijing).
Three months after the wedding, the groom's family selects an auspicious date to take the bride to the ancestral temple for a ritual honoring their ancestors, marking her official acceptance as a member of the groom's family.
至此，新郎新娘正式成为夫妻。
中国传统婚礼习俗观念
父母之命
Modern society often attributes arranged marriages, encapsulated in the saying "the orders of parents and the words of matchmakers," to the lingering effects of feudalism However, feudal society itself evolved from earlier slave societies A thorough historical analysis reveals that arranged marriages likely originated in the patriarchal clan systems of primitive societies In these patriarchal societies, women were regarded as property of the family, and their marriage was seen as a transfer of assets, necessitating compensation or exchange conditions.
In arranged marriages, the control over dowries and marital exchanges lies not with the individuals getting married, but with their parents Fundamentally, arranged marriages are orchestrated by parents, with the so-called "matchmaker's words" serving merely as a means to facilitate the union.
In ancient times, the concept of "parental authority" in marriage was broad, allowing not just biological parents but also other respected elders, such as grandparents, uncles, and elder brothers, to officiate weddings In bureaucratic settings, higher-ranking officials could preside over the marriages of their subordinates, while masters could marry off their servants, and teachers could arrange marriages for their students Regardless of whether the marriage was officiated in a substantive or ceremonial manner, the presence of a designated "officiant" was essential to comply with social and legal customs.
In summary, parties involved in marriage should not act unilaterally or make independent decisions regarding marriage Historically, marriages were conducted under the authority of "parents' orders," with parents or respected elders taking the lead in arranging unions Therefore, these guardians must bear legal responsibility for the marriage.
In traditional contexts where marriage decisions are dictated by parental authority, the responsibility for any legal violations in marriage falls on the parents or other elders involved in the arrangement, leaving the individuals in the marriage blameless Only in cases involving more distant relatives may the parties be held accountable.
Renlun refers to the moral relationships between individuals and is a fundamental concept in ancient Chinese Confucian ethics It encompasses five key relationships: between father and son, ruler and subject, husband and wife, elder and younger siblings, and friends.
夫妇、兄弟、朋友。 (https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E4%BA%BA%E4%BC%A6/12797749)
In Tang Xianzu's "The Resurrection of the Soul," the phrase "the orders of parents and the words of the matchmaker" highlights the lack of autonomy for both parties in marriage decisions.
权，常常是由媒人中间撮合
The historical rationale of China's traditional marriage and family system is examined by Li Cen and Xiong Liying in their 2012 article published in the Journal of Jilin Provincial Education Institute Their analysis delves into the cultural and social foundations that have shaped these familial structures throughout history.
In specific circumstances where the marriage parties take the lead in decision-making, such as when a teacher or elder officiates, the law considers the officiant as secondary However, in most cases, the officiant bears full responsibility for any legal violations related to the marriage This principle is consistent in the legal codes of the Ming and Qing dynasties, where if a marriage is conducted improperly by family members such as grandparents, parents, or siblings, the officiant alone is held accountable, while the marriage parties are not deemed culpable.
In traditional Chinese society, marriages were predominantly arranged by the elders of the family, emphasizing the significant influence of parental authority, often referred to as "parental command." This practice highlights the legal responsibilities of the officiating elders in the marriage process, showcasing the historical importance of parental consent in marital decisions Over centuries, the customs surrounding marriage evolved from societal norms to political acknowledgment and eventually to legal reinforcement, creating a triadic relationship between custom, ethics, and law Consequently, it was nearly impossible for young couples to escape the constraints of parental authority to pursue love freely Even in cases of self-determined marriages, parental approval was typically necessary; otherwise, couples faced the risk of eloping and entering into unions deemed "illegitimate" by societal standards.
In ancient Chinese marriage customs, although children were expected to obey their parents' wishes regarding marriage, parents generally considered their children's lifelong happiness and sometimes respected their choices.
媒妁之言
In traditional Chinese marriage, the role of a matchmaker is essential from engagement to marriage, as the saying "the words of the matchmaker" holds equal importance to "the orders of the parents." This practice ensures that marriages adhere to cultural and moral standards, making it a distinctive feature of Chinese marital customs that has persisted since ancient times, with its origins traceable to the early Western Zhou period.
In traditional marriage practices, the role of the matchmaker is to facilitate connections between the parents of the bride and groom, rather than directly uniting the couple themselves The success or failure of a marriage largely depends on the matchmaker's ability to persuade the parents As noted in "Strategies of the Warring States," without a suitable matchmaker, a woman may remain unmarried despite her desirability, and without parental consent, couples may resort to elopement.
[59] 《唐律疏议》，卷 14，户婚
[60] 《唐律疏议》，卷 14，户婚
[61] 周莎，收继婚的法理探析，中央民族大学，2009
In traditional culture, a "matchmaker" refers to an individual responsible for arranging marriages This saying emphasizes that the marriage of children should be decided by their parents and facilitated by a matchmaker, highlighting the importance of having a matchmaker in the process of finding a spouse.
“媒”在古代有“谋”的意思，“妁”也 有“酌”的含义，“媒妁”即斟酌谋合或说合。
[63] http://baijiahao.baidu.com/s?id69652096014681
In feudal society, some local officials acted as matchmakers while adjudicating cases or handling civil matters within their jurisdictions Recognizing the difficulties faced by impoverished women and maidservants in finding suitable spouses, these officials often took on the role of matchmakers, effectively becoming official mediators Additionally, throughout Chinese history, officials also facilitated marriages for slaves, exiled criminals, and lower-class individuals, further solidifying their role as intermediaries in the matchmaking process.
The significant imbalance in gender ratios has led to frequent marriage disputes In response, the government typically appoints official matchmakers to address these fundamental marital conflicts.
The origins of private matchmaking can be traced back even earlier than that of official matchmaking During the patrilineal clan era, women were considered clan property, leading to marriage as a form of economic transaction often mediated by intermediaries who negotiated prices As marriage evolved from direct transactions to formal engagements, these intermediaries gradually transformed into matchmakers While official matchmaking served specific historical contexts, private matchmaking became widely prevalent in society Once private matchmaking developed into a profession, it extended beyond merely facilitating marriages to include the pursuit of financial gain.
In the context of arranged marriages, the level of satisfaction often hinges on the reliability and honesty of the matchmaker, as well as the accuracy of the information conveyed Consequently, both parties frequently offer substantial rewards to the matchmaker Acting similarly to an intermediary in a commercial transaction, the matchmaker negotiates aspects such as the bride's value and the bride price, skillfully communicating between both families Over time, many matchmakers have been women, leading to the colloquial term "matchmaker" or "matchmaker woman."
In ancient Chinese marriage law, matchmakers held legal responsibilities alongside the parties involved in the marriage The Tang Code stipulated that matchmakers would face reduced penalties if they facilitated marriages that violated regulations Similar provisions existed in the Song Dynasty, where matchmakers were held accountable for the legality of the unions they arranged The Yuan Dynasty emphasized the importance of matchmakers being well-versed in marriage laws, ensuring they understood prohibitions against certain unions The Ming and Qing Dynasties also mandated that matchmakers share legal responsibility for marriages deemed unlawful While traditional practices often relied heavily on the words of matchmakers, some individuals sought creative alternatives to arrange their marriages without their involvement.
In ancient marriages, matchmakers played an essential role as a crucial element of tradition, yet they were often despised by many Their unappealing nature stemmed from the tendency to exaggerate the bride's beauty when speaking to the groom's family and to highlight the groom's favorable family conditions when addressing the bride's family.
Blaming matchmakers for the tragedies of marriage is overly simplistic In feudal society, the barriers between men and women were more pronounced than those against external threats, limiting romantic love and making matchmakers essential for arranging unions The factors leading to these tragic outcomes are multifaceted, with the most fundamental being the constraints imposed by social systems and feudal traditions.
[64] 赵晓耕，《唐律疏议》之不孝制度，广东社会科学，2012
[65] http://baijiahao.baidu.com/s?id121846535984
The Household Marriage Law, established during China's feudal society, pertains to legislation regarding marriage and family It primarily refers to the regulations outlined in the Tang Dynasty's "Yonghui Code," which addresses issues related to household registration, land ownership, and marital relations.
门当户对
In ancient China, the concept of marriage was influenced by two main types of social hierarchy: the class-based view, which categorized individuals according to their political and economic status, and the bloodline-based view, which focused on lineage Although these two perspectives are related, they are not entirely the same From the pre-Qin period to before the Tang Dynasty, there was a blend of bloodline and class-based views; however, during the Wei, Jin, and Northern and Southern Dynasties, the emphasis was predominantly on bloodline After the Tang Dynasty, the concept of social hierarchy in marriage primarily reflected the political and economic status of one's family The notion of marriage based on social standing can be traced back to the Western Zhou period.
According to the historical records in the "Zuo Zhuan," marriage during that period was strictly regulated by social hierarchy, allowing only royal families to intermarry with the nobility Additionally, marriages among the nobility were typically arranged within different clans In the Han Dynasty, while lineage was not the primary concern in marriages, the political and economic status of families remained significant.
During the Wei, Jin, and Northern and Southern Dynasties, the Cao Wei implemented the "Nine Ranks System" for selecting officials, which prioritized social status in appointments and led to a societal structure where "noble families were free from poverty, and lower ranks were devoid of power." This system significantly influenced marriage customs, elevating the importance of social class in marriage to unprecedented levels Prominent families sought to preserve their status by avoiding intermarriage with lower-status clans, opting instead for alliances within the elite, thus creating a system of aristocratic marriages This emphasis on lineage and social standing in matrimonial arrangements reinforced the power of clan-based authority during this period.
During the Southern Dynasties, prominent families such as Wang, Xie, Yuan, Xiao, Gu, Lu, Zhu, and Zhang were considered aristocratic clans, while the Northern Dynasties saw the rise of influential families led by Cui, Lu, Li, and Zheng These elite families often intermarried to preserve their noble lineage, refusing to form alliances with lower-status families Even individuals in high positions or with substantial wealth struggled to connect with these prestigious clans unless they hailed from a distinguished background This led to a unique phenomenon where even royalty sought to elevate their status by aligning with these noble families, often going to great lengths to secure such marriages.
In the Tang Dynasty, some high-ranking officials from commoner backgrounds took pride in marrying the daughters of prominent families, even those with criminal ties Although the Tang era broke the traditional barriers against inter-class marriages, it did not reject all notions of marital status; rather, it placed greater emphasis on the political and economic standing of both families involved This shift led to a heightened focus on class distinctions in marriage, reflecting a more complex understanding of social hierarchy.
[67] 马柯楠，论文古代婚姻中“门当户对” 社会学意义，法制与社会，2014
[68] 王飞绯，《左传》婚姻观研究，南昌大学，2013
[69] 石荣伦，《江海学刊》，江苏省连云港，1997 年
[70] 《请罢中正除九品疏》
[71] 刘心莲,李穆南，竭宝峰，婚育习俗（上）（社会民俗卷），辽海出版社; 第 1 版，2016
Throughout the Song, Yuan, Ming, and Qing dynasties, there was a prevalent practice of "prohibiting marriages between social classes." Feudal society deemed professions such as prostitution and entertainment as lowly, strictly forbidding officials from marrying courtesans or performers Individuals of reputable status were not allowed to marry prostitutes or servants, with violations resulting in criminal penalties Additionally, in common society, factors such as wealth, legitimacy, social status, and family reputation were crucial considerations in marriage arrangements.
婚事杂忌
Taboos play a significant role in shaping social customs, including marriage traditions in China Traditional Chinese marriage customs are deeply intertwined with various taboos, which often serve as constraints on marital practices Focusing specifically on the prohibitions related to intermarriage, these can be broadly categorized into three main aspects: first, sexual taboos related to consanguinity; second, taboos rooted in the accumulation of social and historical cultural practices; and third, taboos arising from superstitious beliefs.
In the context of marriage customs, initial views on gender relations were devoid of taboos, focusing solely on direct sexual relationships, which negated the concept of marriage traditions However, as human society progressed towards civilization, sexual taboos emerged Initially, incest was prohibited, leading to the transition from blood-related group marriages to exogamous group marriages This evolution eventually paved the way for monogamy, as various sexual prohibitions developed throughout the history of human marriage, resulting in a diverse array of taboos and customs within marital practices.
The earliest marriage customs and taboos in the Three Kingdoms period can be traced back to sexual prohibitions, indicating that these taboos significantly influenced the development of initial marriage practices One notable taboo, "no marriage between individuals of the same surname," originated during the Zhou Dynasty, as evidenced by historical records.
The taboo of "not marrying within the same surname" essentially originates from primitive society's restrictions on marriages among blood relatives, promoting the customs of exogamy Surnames signify familial lineage, leading to the evolution of the prohibition against marrying within the same clan into a broader rule against same-surname marriages Although the ban on same-surname unions existed in ancient times, such marriages still occurred frequently.
Until the end of the Qing Dynasty, laws were revised to merge the prohibitions on marriage between relatives and those sharing the same surname, ultimately only banning marriages within the same clan while allowing marriages between individuals of the same surname.
Similar to the taboo of "not marrying within the same surname," there are other prohibitions, including "prohibition of marrying a clan wife," which forbids various forms of inheritance marriage and house transfer marriage; "prohibition of marrying outside the maternal clan," which restricts marriage to relatives from the maternal side; and "not marrying half-siblings," which includes both maternal and paternal half-siblings.
[72] 倪方六，《婚姻法》新解释与古代“休妻”，羊城晚报，2011
[73] 孙京荣，世俗的法规——甘肃民间禁忌，兰州大学出版社，2009，第 104 页
[74] http://blog.sina.cn/dpool/blog/s/blog_af85ff5f0102wxuk.html
[75] 同姓不婚，中国传统的婚姻禁忌。指同一姓氏的男女不得通婚。
(https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%90%8C%E5%A7%93%E4%B8%8D%E5%A9%9A)
This situation falls under the category of close relatives, where intermarriage is strictly prohibited, and violators are subject to charges of adultery These instances pertain to incestuous taboos, with varying specific regulations outlined in the laws of different dynasties following the Tang and Song periods.
In practice, societal emphasis on these taboos is minimal, and legal prohibitions are not particularly stringent Within the context of feudal family customs in China, the concept of "selecting a wife" includes five specific prohibitions against marriage.
一是“逆家子不娶”，因目无尊长，不受礼制规范约束的“逆家子”会形成
“子凌父，妇凌男姑”，使家风败坏。
二是“乱家子不娶”，淫荡不贞的“乱家子”会辱没门风之清白。
三是“世有刑人不娶”，在直系亲属中有受过各种肉刑的人，会受人歧视。
四是“世有恶疾不娶”，主要防止“恶疾”的传染和遗传。
The phrase "the eldest son of a widow should not marry" refers to young women who have lost their mothers These daughters often lack maternal guidance, which can lead to a misunderstanding of traditional women's roles and responsibilities.
In ancient times, marriage decisions were heavily influenced by divination and superstitions, where both families would consult omens to determine if the union was auspicious If the divination was favorable, the marriage could proceed; if not, it would be called off This practice was formalized in the "six rites" of marriage, which included a specific ceremony called "Naji," where auspicious signs were sought at ancestral temples before notifying the bride's family Additionally, the prohibition against marrying within the same surname was also linked to these divination practices.
In summary, divination plays a crucial role in determining marriage, encompassing superstitions and taboos related to fortune and misfortune After the Tang Dynasty, the rise of destiny studies allowed for the prediction of an individual's life events based on their birth date and time, and this predictive technique was also applied to assess marital compatibility.
In feudal society, individuals with unfavorable birth dates, often referred to as having "iron broom" or "six harms" destinies, frequently sought fortune tellers to modify their birth charts for marriage compatibility Traditional Chinese marriage customs are laden with various taboos, of which the aforementioned are just a few key examples While many of these prohibitions have been forgotten by contemporary society, some still persist in folklore today.
[76] http://www.globalsrilanka.com/articles/336.html
In the "Book of Rites," it is stated that women should avoid marrying five types of men: those from a rebellious family, those from a disordered family, those associated with criminals, and those afflicted with severe illnesses.
丧妇长子不取。”
[78] 指能招致灾祸的人
[79] 风水术数术语， 地支关系之一，主互相猜疑、谋害，不吉之贞。
(https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%85%AD%E5%AE%B3)
China boasts a rich and illustrious civilization that spans thousands of years, reflecting the enduring history of the Chinese nation Among the four ancient world civilizations, Chinese culture is unique in its continuous evolution Traditional Chinese marriage customs are intricate, showcasing the importance of rituals and cultural values in society However, as society progresses, many of these traditional customs and ceremonies are gradually fading away with the passage of time.
This article examines and analyzes traditional Chinese wedding customs, highlighting the ancient emphasis on the significance of marriage It begins by defining the concept of a wedding as a vital ceremony, regarded as a "lifelong affair" for individuals As human society evolved, so did the emergence of gender taboos, leading to ethical views of "gender distinction" and "spousal roles." Originating from the Zhou Dynasty, weddings have undergone significant changes over time, evolving into a comprehensive set of marriage rituals The ancients referred to weddings as the "Six Rites," essential ceremonies that must be followed for a wedding to be deemed serious, legitimate, and complete This framework of the Six Rites has since served as a template for traditional Chinese weddings, providing key insights into customs, procedures, and cultural perspectives surrounding these ceremonies.