Objective of the study
This study aims to make a comparison and analyze the ST and the TT according to Newmark‟s model to assess the quality of the Vietnamese
2 translation of chapter seven in the book “’Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone”, find out some problems of literary translations and draw some suggestions for this field of translation.
Research questions
At the end of this study, the study will answer the following questions:
- How good is the Vietnamese version of chapter seven of the book
“Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” according to Newmark’s model?
- What might be some implications from the translation?
Scope of the study
The Harry Potter series, a globally renowned phenomenon, consists of seven books that chronicle the adventures of Harry Potter at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Beginning with the release of the first novel, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," this beloved franchise has captivated readers of all ages.
The "Philosopher's Stone" has led to the immense popularity and critical acclaim of the series, making J.K Rowling one of the most translated authors, with her works available in 67 languages This study focuses exclusively on chapter seven, utilizing Newmark’s model to evaluate the quality of the translation.
Method of the study
The study adopts a qualitative design, employing descriptive and contrastive techniques to assess the translation text A thorough and comprehensive reading of the original text precedes a comparison of the source text (ST) with its translation, guided by the five steps of Newmark's model.
1 A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects
2 The translator's interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and the translation‟s likely readership
3 A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original
4 The evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translator‟s term, (b) in the critic‟s term
5 Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline
Organization of the study
The study is presented in 3 parts:
Part A is the introduction which includes the rationale for the study, the objective, the research questions, the scope, the method as well as the organization of the study
Part B consists of two chapters The first chapter presents a Literature Review that explores key concepts in literary translation, contrastive analysis, and established models for assessing translation quality In the second chapter, the author utilizes Newmark’s five-step model to analyze and evaluate the translation.
Part C is the conclusion including the conclusions, implications, limitations and suggestions for further study
LITERATURE REVIEW 1.1 Translation Theory
Definition of Translation
Translation has been defined in various ways, with Newmark (1981) describing it as a craft aimed at replacing a written message in one language with the same message in another Similarly, House (1977) emphasizes that translation involves substituting a source text with a semantically and pragmatically equivalent text in the target language Cartford (1965) echoes this notion by defining translation as the replacement of a source language text with its equivalent in the target language Despite the diversity in definitions, they all underscore that translation pertains to language in use rather than as a mere system Additionally, it is crucial to highlight the importance of preserving semantic, pragmatic, and textual meanings across different languages in the translation process.
Translation Methods
Basing on Newmark‟s classification, there are eight methods in translating as follow
Word-for-word translation Adaptation
- Word for word translation: The SL word is translated into another language by their most common meanings, which can be out of context at times
- Literal translation: The SL grammatical constructions are translated to their nearest TL but the lexical words are translated singly, out of context
- Faithful translation: The SL text is reproduced in its precise contextual meaning under the constraints of the TL grammatical structures
Semantic translation is the method of utilizing semantic information to facilitate the conversion of data from one representation to another This approach emphasizes the aesthetic qualities of the source language text, ensuring that the translation not only conveys meaning but also preserves the artistic elements of the original work.
- Adaption: The text is rewritten considering the SL culture which is converted to the TL where the themes, characters and plots are preserved
- Free translation: It reproduces the matter without the manner or the content without the form of the original
- Idiomatic translation: It reproduces the „message‟ of the original and prefers colloquialisms and idioms which do not exist in the original
- Communicative translation: The exact contextual meaning of the original is rendered in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible to the readership
Among the above-mentioned methods, semantic and communicative translation are the two most common ones which are often used in literary translation.
Translation Equivalence
In translation theory, equivalence is a fundamental concept that defines the relationship between two texts in different languages, rather than the languages themselves As Pym (1992) states, "equivalence is supposed to define translation, and translation, in turn, defines equivalence." This highlights the intricate connection between the act of translation and the notion of equivalence.
Nida identifies two main types of equivalence in translation: formal equivalence and dynamic equivalence Originally used to describe Bible translation, these concepts apply to any text Formal equivalence focuses on the form and content of the source text, while dynamic equivalence emphasizes conveying the original message in a way that elicits a similar response from the target audience as it did from the original audience.
Baker (1992) extends the concept of equivalence to cover similarity in
The article discusses the information flow between Source Text (ST) and Target Text (TT), highlighting the cohesive roles of ST and TT devices It examines equivalence in the translation process at various levels, including grammatical, textual, and pragmatic aspects Equivalence can manifest at both word and above-word levels during translation The author emphasizes that grammatical rules differ across languages, which can complicate finding direct correspondences in the Target Language (TL), particularly concerning number, tense, voice, person, and gender Textual equivalence pertains to the relationship between SL and TL texts in terms of information and cohesion The article also underscores the significance of texture in translation, offering essential guidelines for understanding and analyzing the ST to aid translators in creating cohesive and coherent texts.
TC audience in a specific context Finally, pragmatic equivalence refers to implicatures and strategies of avoidance during the translation process
Koller (1979) identifies five types of equivalence in translation, each influenced by specific factors The first type is denotative equivalence, which focuses on the literal meaning of the source language (SL) and target language (TL).
In translation, TL words must maintain referential identity with SL words, ensuring they convey the same meaning in the real world Beyond mere denotation, both SL and TL words should evoke similar communicative values for native speakers, which is known as connotative equivalence This includes considerations of style, social and geographical context, and frequency Additionally, text-normative equivalence is achieved when SL and TL words correspond within similar text types in their respective languages Pragmatic equivalence is determined by the intended audience of the translation, influencing the desired effect Lastly, formal equivalence focuses on preserving the same aesthetic features, such as orthographic or phonological characteristics, between SL and TL.
Contrastive Analysis
Contrastive Analysis has been a significant topic of discussion among linguists, with various definitions shaping its understanding One prominent definition by Lado (1957) in "Linguistics Across Cultures" suggests that elements similar to a learner's native language are easier to grasp, while differing elements pose challenges In contrast, James (1980) emphasizes that contrastive analysis focuses on the differences between languages rather than their similarities, highlighting its role in examining the distinctions between pairs or small sets of languages.
Contrastive linguistics serves as a bridge between theoretical frameworks and practical applications in fields like foreign language teaching and translation studies By emphasizing a descriptive approach, it utilizes theoretical insights and language models while prioritizing their applicability in real-world contexts (Gast, V 2011).
Contrastive analysis is a linguistic approach focused on creating two-valued typologies by comparing pairs of languages It operates under the premise that languages can be effectively compared to identify similarities and differences.
Translation Quality Assessment
Newmark (1995) regards translation criticism or translation quality assessment as a crucial link between translation theory and its practice and as
Translation criticism is a fundamental aspect of comparative literature and professional translation courses, serving as a vital exercise for analysis and discussion It encompasses various definitions, with McAlester (1999) providing key insights into its significance and application in evaluating translated texts.
Translation criticism involves assessing the appropriateness of a translation, which inherently includes a value judgment that should be explicitly justified for it to hold significance According to Hewson (2011), translation quality assessment aims to delineate the interpretative potential of a translation within a framework rooted in the source text This evaluative process examines the degree of similarity or divergence between the translation and the perceived interpretative potential of the original text.
Concerning the assessment of translations, House (1997) has already raised a question: “How do we know when a translation is good?” There are some ideas expressing the views to evaluate a translation
Generations of professional translators, poets, writers, philologists, and philosophers have shared their insights on the strengths and weaknesses of translation They have discussed the importance and impact of various criteria in evaluating translation quality.
“faithfulness to the original”, “retention of the original‟s special flavour”,
“preservation of the spirit of the source language” as opposed to concentrating on
The quality of a translation is often perceived as reliant on the translator's subjective interpretation and cultural insights, as highlighted by House (1997) She emphasizes the importance of a natural flow and reader enjoyment in translations However, true assessment of translation quality should not be based on personal feelings but rather on established models of quality evaluation The subsequent section will introduce prominent translation assessment models to offer essential guidance for evaluating the translated version of the novel.
Many anecdotal methods for evaluating translation rely heavily on the translator's linguistic and cultural intuition, which can lead to a limited understanding of the translation process These approaches often focus solely on the translator's comprehension and interpretation, overlooking other essential aspects of translation Consequently, they provide an incomplete perspective that fails to capture the full complexity of the translation process.
A response-based approach to translation quality assessment, notably represented by Nida, emphasizes three programmatic and general criteria for evaluating translation quality.
The effectiveness of the communication process in translation relies on three key criteria: general efficiency, comprehension of intent, and equivalence of response The latter aligns with Nida's principle of Dynamic Equivalence, emphasizing that the audience's reaction to the translated text should mirror their response to the original Nida and Taber (1969) propose additional criteria, including the accuracy of message comprehension, ease of understanding, and the emotional engagement elicited by the translation's form However, these behavioral criteria require further clarification and practical testing, raising the question of how to measure such responses While Nida and Taber suggested practical tests, each has limitations J House highlights a significant flaw in response-based translation evaluations, noting that they often overlook the complexities of the human mind, particularly when expert judges must operate on implicit criteria that should be clearly defined.
In this translation approach, the source text's linguistic structure and meaning potential, particularly within its situational context, are regarded as essential factors Koller (1974) proposed a three-step framework for assessing translation quality, with the initial step focusing on the transferability of the text.
The translation process involves three key steps: first, determining if the original text is transferable; if not, no equivalent translation is provided Next, the target text is re-translated back into the source language to ensure it retains similar meaning Finally, native speakers proofread the translation to ensure it meets the expectations of the target audience While Koller presents original and thought-provoking ideas, he fails to provide specific operationalization suggestions, resulting in a general outline.
Reiss's work (1970) emphasizes the concept of equivalence at the text level, rather than focusing solely on words or sentences, to enhance communication Her functional approach seeks to systematize translation evaluation by asserting that the predominant function of the source text is crucial for assessing the target text She categorizes texts into three types based on language functions: content-oriented texts (e.g., news and scientific-technical writings), form-oriented texts (e.g., poetry and literary works), and conative texts (e.g., advertisements) However, while her framework requires a thorough analysis of the source text to identify these types, she does not provide clear guidance on establishing language functions or text types, leaving the process somewhat ambiguous Therefore, further development and clarification are necessary to create a practical model for evaluating translation quality.
1.3.2.3 Julianne House’s functional – pragmatic approach
House (1977) advocates for semantic and pragmatic equivalence in translation, emphasizing that the source and target texts should function similarly She proposes a model for assessing translation quality grounded in pragmatic language theories, aiming to eliminate anecdotalism and reductionism Central to her model is the comparison of the functions of both texts, which requires an understanding of the unique "function" of a text within its situational context, distinct from the function of language itself House defines a text's function as its use in a specific situation, comprising both ideational and interpersonal components that should align with the original The assessment begins with an analysis of the original text based on situational dimensions, followed by a comparison of the functional outcomes of both texts This process may reveal mismatches, categorized as either covert or overt errors, indicating discrepancies in translation fidelity.
1) Covertly erroneous errors: those which result from a mismatch in one situational dimension
2) Overtly erroneous errors: those which result from a non-dimensional mismatch Such errors can be divided into:
- Breaches of the target language system
In the final stage of House's model, it is essential to identify both covert and overt errors in the denotative meanings of the source and target texts This involves compiling a list of these mistakes and evaluating the degree of alignment between the two functional components.
In her updated model, she presents a more structured approach for analyzing and comparing original texts with their translations This new framework allows for the examination of texts across four distinct levels: Function, Register, and Language.
Le (2006) highlights that House's model is grounded in a solid linguistic theoretical framework and offers detailed procedural steps However, its reliance on advanced linguistic knowledge and specialized skills from critics limits its widespread application, confining it primarily to experimental use within translation studies.
Newmark, an English professor specializing in translation, introduced his model for translation quality assessment in his 1995 book "A Textbook of Translation." This model, known as "comprehensive criticism of a translation," consists of five essential steps aimed at evaluating the effectiveness of translations.
1 A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects
2 The translator's interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and the translation‟s likely readership
3 A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original
4 The evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translator‟s term, (b) in the critic‟s term
5 Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline
In the first step, the critic has to try to point out the author‟s purpose, that is, the attitude he takes towards the topic; characterization of the readers
APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION
Step 2: the translator‟s interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and
In chapter seven, "The Sorting Hat," of "Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone," the translator makes notable changes by omitting certain sentences and incorporating additional details not found in the original text These alterations highlight differences in interpretation and cultural adaptation, showcasing the translator's choices in conveying the story's essence while tailoring it to a new audience.
126 While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points
127 Trong thời gian các con học ở Hogwarts thì thành tích các con đạt được sẽ được cộng vào điểm chung cho nhà mình ở
133 Một ý tưởng khủng khiếp bỗng bật lên trong đầu
18 always do when you're very nervous
As Harry prepared for the Sorting Ceremony, he noticed the hall filled with curious onlookers eager to see him In an instant, the Sorting Hat was placed over his eyes, plunging him into darkness as he awaited his fate.
Trước khi chiếc nón phủ lên mắt, Harry thấy cả sảnh đường đông đúc đang chăm chú nhìn về phía mình Anh chờ đợi khoảnh khắc quan trọng này.
134 "Well done, Ron, excellent," said Percy Weasley pompously across Harry as
"Zabini, Blaise," was made a Slytherin
136 Giỏi lắm, Ron! Xuất sắc!
Huynh trưởng Percy – anh trai Ron, gào lên đắc thắng
∅ 135 “Thomas Dean!” là một thằng bé da đen cao hơn cả Ron, được vô Gryffindor, đến ngồi bên cạnh Harry
∅ 134 Tới lượt thằng nhợt nhạt
Table 1: Omission and addition in the translation
The omission of certain sections in the translated version does not significantly hinder readers' comprehension of the overall message Typically, the target text includes comments and clarifying parentheses to enhance understanding, reflecting the translator's efforts to provide additional context However, in this instance, these additions are entirely absent in the original text.
Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the
In this step, the examples of the achievements and weaknesses of the translation in comparison with the original text have been chosen and grouped under general heads as follow:
1 Title of the book Harry Potter and the
Harry Potter và hòn đá phù thủy
The sorting hat Chiếc nón phân loại
Table 2: Comparing two versions in terms of the titles
The title of the book in the target text (TT) differs in literal meaning from the source text (ST), as it reflects the concept of the philosopher's stone in Western alchemy—a mythical substance believed to transform base metals into gold or silver and grant immortality J.K Rowling emphasizes the significance of the philosopher's stone in her fantasy novel, yet many readers from different cultures may be unfamiliar with its historical context To address this, the book and its film adaptation were released in the United States as "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," as publishers feared that American audiences would not fully grasp the implications of the original title.
20 the same in Vietnamese language It is the reason why the translator uses the title Harry Potter và hòn đá phù thủy
The translator skillfully conveys the author's messages and ideas while adapting the novel into her own language Her creative approach to paragraphing is evident throughout the chapter, where lengthy sentences from the source text are transformed into concise statements without altering their meaning Additionally, complex sentences are simplified, often breaking down intricate clauses into multiple straightforward sentences.
The stone walls glowed with flaming torches reminiscent of those at Gringotts, while the ceiling soared high above, obscured from view A stunning marble staircase dominated the space, ascending gracefully to the upper floors.
Những vách tường đá được chiếu sáng bởi những bó đuốc lớn, tạo nên không gian huyền bí như ở nhà băng Gringotts Trần lâu đài cao vút và trước mắt bọn trẻ là một chiếc cầu thang cẩm thạch lộng lẫy dẫn lên các tầng trên.
Feeling unusually heavy, Harry joined the line behind a sandy-haired boy, with Ron following closely behind, as they exited the chamber and made their way across the hall into the Great Hall.
Harry cảm thấy lúng túng và vụng về, như thể đôi chân của cậu đã trở thành chì Cậu đứng xếp hàng sau một cậu bé tóc vàng, trong khi Ron đứng phía sau cậu Cả nhóm cùng nhau rời khỏi phòng, đi qua hành lang và một vài cánh cửa đôi trước khi tiến vào đại sảnh đường.
He was too drowsy to notice the portraits along the corridors whispering and pointing as they walked by, or that Percy guided them through concealed doorways hidden behind sliding panels and draped tapestries.
142 Nó cảm thấy buồn ngủ đến mức không còn ngạc nhiên khi những bức chân dung treo trên tường thì thầm chỉ trỏ khi nó đi qua Nó cũng không còn ngạc nhiên khi Percy dẫn mọi người đi qua cánh cửa ẩn sau những bức tranh lớn và những tấm thảm treo tường cả hai lần.
4 131 The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table
132 Những người ngồi ở dãy bàn bên phải hoan hô và vỗ tay chào mừng Hannah đi đến ngồi ở dảy bàn của nhà Hufflepuff
5 131 The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them
132 Dãy bàn thứ hai bên trái vỗ tay; nhiều thành viên nhà Ravenclaw đứng dậy bắt tay Terry; cậu bé đến nhập vào bàn của họ
Table 3: Comparing two versions in terms of paragraphing
In many instances, relative clauses are restructured into separate independent sentences or converted into comment parentheses; alternatively, they may be omitted entirely in the target text (TT).
1 126 Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose
127 Ánh mắt bà chần chừ trên chiếc áo choàng cột ẩu tả của Neville; chót mũi nhọ nhem của Ron cũng có vẻ khiến giáo sư không hài lòng
2 127 No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need
Trong không khí yên lặng, mọi người đều im lặng, chỉ có Hermione lẩm nhẩm những câu thần chú mà cô đã học thuộc lòng, đang suy nghĩ về việc nên sử dụng câu nào trong số đó.
3 127 Then something happened which made him jump about a foot in the air
128 Bỗng nhiên có một chuyện khiến Harry nhảy bắn lên không trung cả ba tấc
4 128 It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles which were floating in mid air over four long tables
129 Gian phòng mênh mông được chiếu sáng bằng hàng ngàn hàng vạn ngọn nến, lơ lửng trên không trung phía trên bốn dãy bàn dài
5 131 A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down
132 Một cố bé có đôi má hồng hồng và đôi bím tóc vàng hoe bước ra khỏi hàng, đội nón vào và ngồi xuống ghế
6 136 He was right next to
Malfoy who, Harry was pleased to see, didn‟t look too pleased with the seating arrangements
138 Con ma đó ngồi bên cạnh
Malfoy, và Harry khoái chí nhận thấy Malfoy có vẻ bực bội vì bị xếp chỗ ngồi như vậy
This year, access to the right-hand side corridor on the third floor is strictly prohibited for anyone who wants to avoid a painful demise.
Năm nay, tôi muốn thông báo với các con rằng hành lang tầng ba bên tay phải là khu vực cấm Ai muốn gặp nguy hiểm hoặc chịu đựng đau đớn thì hãy đến đó.
Dumbledore flicked his wand, causing a long golden ribbon to emerge and soar above the tables, twisting into words like a snake.
Cụ Dumbledore vẫy cây đũa thần của mình, đuổi một con ruồi đậu ở đầu gậy Từ đầu gậy, một chuỗi nơ vàng uốn lượn như rắn xuất hiện và kết thành chữ phía trên các dãy bàn.
Table 4: Comparing two versions in terms of relative clauses
The translation by Ly Lan presents a notable deviation from typical language structures, particularly in the use of passive and active forms While English often employs passive constructions, Vietnamese tends to favor active forms However, in this translation, the passive voice is used more frequently than the active voice, contrasting with other translations The translator rarely utilizes active forms, opting instead for passive structures that are prevalent in the source text.
1 125 The stone walls were lit with flaming torches like the ones at Gringotts
126 Những vách tường đá được chiếu sáng bằng những bó đuốc to giống như ở nhà băng Gringotts
2 126 You will be sorted into your houses
126 Các con sẽ được phân loại để xếp vào các ký túc xá
3 126 The house with the most points is awarded the House Cup
127 Nhà nào có được nhiều điểm nhất sẽ được thưởng Cúp Nhà
4 128 It was lit by thousands 129 Gian phòng mênh mông
24 and thousands of candles được chiếu sáng bằng hang ngàn hàng vạn cây nến
5 132 He had always been last to be chosen
132 Nó luôn luôn là người cuối cùng được chọn
6 132 What if he wasn’t chosen at all?
133 Nếu rốt cuộc mình không được chọn vô “nhà” nào hết thì sao?
Longbottom, the boy who kept losing his toad, was called
133 Khi Neville Longbottom – thằng bé cứ mất cóc hoài đó – được gọi tên ,
8 139 I have also been asked by
Mr Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that…
140 Tôi cũng được ông Flich, giám thị, yêu cầu nhắc nhở tất cả học sinh…
9 139 he usually gives us a reason why we're not allowed to go somewhere
141 cụ Dumbledore thường nói rõ tại sao chúng ta không được phép đi đâu đó
10 142 Their trunks had already been brought up
144 Rương của chúng đã được mang lên sẵn
11 128 These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets
129 Trên mặt bàn là những dĩa vàng và cốc vàng lóng lánh
12 135 The dishes in front of him were now piled with food
136 Những cái dĩa trống trước mặt nó giờ đây đã đầy ắp thức ăn
13 139 no magic should be used between classes in the corridors
140 không được dùng phép thuật ngoài lớp học, trong hành lang
Table 5: Comparing two versions in terms of passive and active forms
• The use of words and idioms:
It will be a shortcoming if the translator‟s choice of word and using idioms are not mentioned because they are the most notable things of this translation
2 Hagrid Bác Hagrid, Lão Hagrid
3 Professor McGonagall Giáo sư McGonagall
5 Albus Dumbledore Cụ Albus Dumbledore
6 They, them Chúng, bọn trẻ
7 127 Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking
127 Anh Fred nói đau lắm nhưng chắc là ảnh nói chơi
8 137 Bit of a nasty shock for him
139 Một cú sốc ghê gớm cho ổng
9 126 While you are here 127 Khi các con ở đây
10 128 Hope to see you 128 Hy vọng gặp lại các em
11 127 What are you all doing here?
128 Cả lũ chúng bây làm gì ở đây hử
12 137 What about you , Neville? 139 Còn bồ thì sao hả Neville?
Table 6: Comparing two versions in terms of pronouns and proper names
Step 4: An evaluation of the translation
2.4.1 An evaluation of the translation in the translator’s terms
The writer is going to evaluate the translation basing on the analysis of the evidences compared above Both the success and the weaknesses of the translation will be presented
• The success of the translation:
The translator effectively conveys English structures into Vietnamese with a natural and flexible approach, captivating readers with smooth and fluent sentences Chapter seven showcases numerous examples that leave a lasting impression, not solely due to their content but also because of their remarkable fluidity The translator adeptly handles relative clauses, transforming them into independent sentences or comments, and sometimes omitting them without altering the original meaning Additionally, both passive and active structures from the source text are seamlessly integrated into the target text, enhancing the overall readability and coherence.
Besides, the translation is also very successful in terms of semantics This is reflected by the translator‟s choice of words, expressions and the use of idioms
With proper names and pronouns, the translator transfers them to the
TT flexibly according to different cases (see more in table 6)
The translator effectively incorporates idioms, enhancing the text's familiarity and natural flow for Vietnamese readers For instance, in example 7, the use of idiomatic expressions demonstrates the translator's skill in making the content resonate with the audience.
The idiom "xanh như tàu lá chuối" (pale green like a banana leaf) vividly conveys Ron's anxiety about being sorted into one of four houses, highlighting his distress through a striking visual metaphor This expression succinctly captures the character's intense feelings, similar to how "a house for people who feel a bit queasy" reflects unease and "Hermione almost ran to the stool" illustrates urgency Although the literal translations may differ, these idioms enhance the emotional impact on readers and contribute to a more conversational tone, making the text feel closer to spoken language than traditional written style.
Many English words and expressions are translated concisely and naturally, as demonstrated in examples from table 8 For instance, example number 3 illustrates the phrase "They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously." The Longman dictionary defines "peer about" as "to look very carefully at something especially because you are having difficulty seeing it," highlighting its effective equivalence in translation.
Vietnamese can be “nhìn chằm chằm”, “nhìn chăm chú”, “soi” or “nhòm”,
The phrase "nghểnh cổ ngóng chờ" effectively captures the anxious feelings of first-year students adjusting to a new environment Similarly, the expression "người dứt trước, người xong sau" translates the idea of "Everybody finished the song at different times" into Vietnamese seamlessly, highlighting the natural flow of the language.
Overall, the translation has seen notable success, but there are unavoidable errors in the target text (TT) when compared to the source text (ST) that must be addressed to enhance the quality of the translation.
• The weaknesses of the translation:
With regard to syntactic, some sentences are not translated correctly; the message in the TT even has no relationship with the message in the ST Following are some examples:
1 126 I shall return when we are ready for you
127 Ta sẽ trở lại khi nào các con chuẩn bị xong
2 129 Maybe they had to try and get a rabbit out of it
130 Chắc họ sẽ phải bắt mình lôi ra được từ trong cái nón một con thỏ
3 136 I would prefer you to call me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy
137 Ta yêu cầu các cháu gọi ta là ngài Nicholas de Mimsy
4 140 The other teachers‟ smiles had become rather fixed
141 Harry chợt nhận thấy nụ cười của các giáo sư khác chợt tắt lịm
Table 9: Mistakes in the translation in terms of grammar and meaning
In examples 1 and 2, there is a clear disparity between the meanings in the source text (ST) and the target text (TT) Additionally, in example 3, the phrase “would prefer you to…” is misinterpreted in the translation, which instead employs “ta yêu cầu các cháu,” conveying a sense of command Furthermore, example 4 reveals that although the other teachers appear joyful and carefree while singing, they do not genuinely embody the spirit of the school, highlighting a disconnect between their outward expressions and true feelings.
34 smile Hence, this message is totally not the same as the message in the TT –
“nụ cười…chợt tắt lịm”
Besides, the most serious problem with the translation is about vocabulary and expressions
One significant issue in word choice and expression is the incorrect use of idioms in specific contexts While the translator has demonstrated some success in employing idioms, there are instances where their usage is inappropriate (refer to examples 1, 2, 5, 6, and 8 in table 7) For instance, in example 1, the term "frayed" is translated to "vá chùm vá đụp," which lacks equivalence Additionally, in example 2, the phrase "bowed to each of the four tables" refers to the hat acknowledging the students from four houses at the tables, rather than implying a bowing in all directions, as inaccurately suggested by the translation "bốn phương tám hướng."
The most significant issue identified is the substantial alteration of denotative and connotative meanings between the source text (ST) and the target text (TT) As illustrated in Table 8, numerous simple words lack equivalence, such as "door" translating to "sàn nhà," "behind" to "xung quanh," and "teachers" to "giáo sư." Additionally, expressions in the TT often misrepresent the original meanings, with examples like "a ruff and tights" rendered as "đồ bó sát" and "the school song" as "một bài ca của trường." This discrepancy highlights the challenges in achieving accurate translations, affecting the overall integrity of the text.
2.4.2 An evaluation of the translation in the critic’s terms
An analysis of the strengths and weaknesses in Ly Lan's translation of chapter seven from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" reveals several insightful observations.
The translation of chapter seven, "The Sorting Hat," spanning 19 pages, has achieved notable success by closely adhering to the original text in most instances.
The translator demonstrates extensive experience in literary translation, skillfully incorporating idioms and expressions in a natural manner while maintaining flexible sentence structure Additionally, Ly Lan showcases a rich vocabulary, significantly contributing to the overall success of her translations.
Despite the progress made, there are still issues in the translation that require improvement for a higher quality version It is essential for the translator to select vocabulary that is accessible to all readers Additionally, the translation should adhere more closely to the original text, as certain details have been omitted or added without justification, negatively impacting the overall quality of the translation.
2.4.3 Assess the translation as a piece of writing, independently of its original
As an independent piece of writing, the Vietnamese version of “Harry
Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” is a very exciting and interesting story
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" is an excellent children's literature work that showcases Ly Lan's skills as both an experienced translator and a talented writer The book features simple and accessible language, making it easily understandable for a wide range of readers, particularly young audiences Most expressions used throughout the text are appropriate and engaging for children.
The Vietnamese version of "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" is considered a successful literary work in its own right, thanks to its concise and relatable content for Vietnamese readers The natural writing style often gives the book the feel of a Vietnamese novel, enhancing its appeal and resonance with the audience.
2.5 Step 5 An assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline